Monday 28 April 2014

The day I could have died.

The sun is shining today and as I sit looking through my photographs of recent times with friends with the cat curled up next to me, I can't help but think about the fact things could have been so very different now. 

What I am about to type is made up of what my family have told me and the tiny fragments I remember of the few days myself. It's the story of the day I could have died January the 21st 2014. I know every seizure could kill me but this time it was the very thing that was trying to save me that backfired.

Despite waking up from a longer sleep than usual slightly later in the morning my day started off like most others. I wandered down stairs and put the kettle on to make a cup of tea. My dad returned home from taking a couple of clients out for driving lessons. We were sitting at the kitchen table with our drinks chatting away when my vision started to roll. I can’t quite explain how this looked to me… maybe a little like an old tv used to scroll from top to bottom of the screen continuously. It was so fast and overwhelmed my entire vision. I turned to my dad and asked him if my eyes were moving at all when his answer came as a “no” I went onto explain what was happening. He told me to go and lie on the sofa with my eyes closed to see if it passed. At first this actually worked in that if I lay with my eyes closed my world was still again but as soon as I opened them again the rolling vision was worse than ever. By now something was obviously wrong as my balance was beginning to go as well and even trying to sit up was near impossible. My dad rang up my doctors surgery to see if they had any emergency appointments, there weren't.

In the mean time my step-mum returned home apparently I was blabbing away all sorts of rubbish whilst trying to sip a drink to try and feel a little better. As long as I kept my eyes closed as far as I knew I felt alright despite now knowing I was acting very strange. Things soon changed though and even with my eyes closed my whole world started rolling and swaying. Despite lying down and trying to focus I soon started feeling very sick and before long out came the buckets and towels that I swiftly filled time and time again.. My parents tried ringing the doctors surgery again and ask if a doctor can come out and see me but after them explaining what was happening they were told that the surgery were calling an ambulance to come to the house.

We live in the middle of the countryside miles way from anything so a first responder is sent out ahead of the ambulance as they can travel faster. They arrive within minutes and place me on oxygen whilst we wait for the ambulance. My general doctor also comes around to the house to witness what is going on. Apparently one of the first things he said was "well there's no waiting for you for your referral young lady" (I had already been referred to a new Epilepsy specialist by my previous neurologist) I had been to see my general doctor the week before to ask for it to be sped up, I guess he got a shock when he saw why..

In the ambulance I’m drifting too far into unconsciousness so they attempt to wake me time and time again. My heart isn’t beating properly so they repeat and ECG to check. My hands are blue and freezing cold. I'm sick a few times more during the journey whilst unconscious. We arrive and despite the constant news reports of ambulances having to queue outside of accident and emergency departments at hospital I am taken straight in. Once I'm in the hospital they struggle to find access to my veins to give me fluids, in fact one of the junior doctors tells my family that I'm the first patient he has not been able to cannulate.  Eventually though and leaving me looking like a pin cushion they are able to get a cannula in.  Whilst waiting for the my blood results to come back I have some more seizures. Thankfully later that evening I am stabilised and conscious enough to talk a little although still very poorly and extremely tired. I couldn't open my eyes due to the intense rolling vision that was still occurring and a incredibly painful headache that left my barely able to tolerate the harsh white hospital lighting. I'm stable though, brought back from a serious case of deaths door. I have no idea what they pumped into me that day but I'm so thankful that it worked.

It turns out my latest anti-epileptic medicine had been gradually building up in my system until it reached the point of toxicity and poisoned my body sending my system into shut down.

This day was to lead to another four weeks recovering in hospital and having to be transferred to a neuro-specialist hospital for treatment. I was left with terrible vision, vomiting for days and unable to walk unaided. My physical recovery took a long time which I will write about soon. Mentally though, I still have along way to go.

It's a sobering thought but instead of dwelling on it I realise that I am very very lucky to be here. It's simple, if my dad followed by my step-mum hadn't of come home when they did things could have been VERY different.

Saturday 26 April 2014

Surf's up!

Today a few friends and I took a trip over to the coast on what was a decidedly grey and rainy day to take a dip in the sea. 

I know, I know.. a little crazy given it's April and here in Britain we don't exactly have warm sea waters even at the best of times let alone early in the year.


It was so, so worth it!! We all had a wonderful time with a spot of surfing, something that I haven't done in a long while, and bodyboarding an old favourite. The waves were extremely choppy and I have to admit sometimes I felt a little out of my depth both in that it was pretty rough seas and literally couldn't touch the floor being bashed by waves! 


Afterwards having eventually slithered our way out of overly tight wetsuits and covered in sand, we headed over to the local little town Abersoch and found a bar to sit down and devour a hot chocolate (with marshmallows, whipped cream and all!) 

It was a fab day and I really can't wait until next time but for now it's fleecy pyjama's and decaf coffee this evening before a nice long sleep in bed. I need to catch up on my energy or those nasty seizures will catch up with my brain! 

Saturday 19 April 2014

Nocturnal Seizure

Nocturnal seizures tend to give me the creeps the most.

The other morning I woke up with a sore face and bruised cheekbone. I'd had a seizure at some point during the night which had lead to me falling out of bed head first bumping and grazing my face around my eye. So for the past few days I've been sporting a fetching bright red carpet burn on my face for all to see. I should count myself lucky though as I hit it right in the same place where I fractured my cheekbone last year and could have easily re-fractured it. Scary thought as I distinctly remember the pain from that for weeks on end. 

I often wonder how many seizures I may be having during the night that I'm completely unaware of. For the most part I'm well aware that something has happened whilst I've been sleeping as there are clues like aching muscles and bitten tongue etc. 

Onwards and upwards though, I'm seeing my neurologist in less than two weeks so we will see what he has to say.

Thursday 17 April 2014

London with the ladies

I promise I'm not trying to be slack when it comes to keeping up with my blogging it's just life is going everywhere at the moment and it's hard to keep up! Most nights I think, right I'll write a little something up for my blog, and simply end up falling asleep. Perhaps I should try not lying in bed typing... it's just so cosy! 

Lately a lot has been happening and gradually I will get it all down. One notable event was my little weekend trip to London to catch-up with some beloved friends. These beautiful ladies are the doctors I used to live with when I was down in Cardiff having one of the best times of my life. I love each and every one of them and miss them dearly when we're apart. We keep up with each other over group conversation on whatsapp etc but it just isn't the same as wondering into one of their rooms in my PJ's wondering if they want a cup of tea and end up not leaving for hours... 

So every now and then when they can all get the time off work we meet up somewhere and have a good catch up and go on a little adventure. This time we all headed to London to celebrate Amrit's birthday. Whilst we were there we went to the amazing O2 Arena to see the absolutely fabulous Miranda Hart one of our favourite comedians. It used to be "one of ours things" to sit and watch an episode of her sitcom Miranda together after a longs days studying/work. It was SO SO good!! We also (as usual) ate a huge amount of food and some lovely little places including The Breakfast Club in Spitalfields and a cute little cafe called Bea's of Bloomsbury where we devoured what we could possibly fit in of a delicious afternoon tea. Yum! 



Before we all headed back to our respective homes we also explored Camden markets and lock on what happened to be one of the sunniest days of the year so far :) Perfect. I absolutely cannot wait until next time we meet. x

Saturday 5 April 2014

A little moment

Would anyone mind if I took a little moment to sound cheesy?

In the background I'm currently writing up a post that has taken a lot of emotion to edge towards completion and it's made me think long and hard about life. So I just wanted to say...

To my wonderful followers, readers, commenters. Each and every one of you are lovely, fabulous amazing people. You are the reason I write this blog, jot down random thoughts and feelings on life in the hope that someone can relate.

Yes I might leave little gaps here and there were life has got on top of me or I'm off on a long adventure but sure enough I come back and write down general ups and downs. It's my release and to hear that others are witnessing this fight against Epilepsy and seizures feels incredible. Your comments and steady rise of page views mean the absolute world. Together we unite and combine to form a positivity that blasts any misfortune out of the water!

Keep smiling you lovely lot and see you around the next corner, over the next mountain and on the next adventure xxx